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She picked up her empty coffee cup and bought some time pretending to take a sip. “Only four days this week. But he was gone a full week earlier this month. It’s getting old.”
“Does he have a choice?” Landyn asked. “Couldn’t he just tell them he’ll only travel once a month? They surely understand that he has a family. I know Chase would never be gone from the babies for more than a night or two.”
Danae looked away and Corinne could almost see the longing in her eyes. She and Dallas had been trying for a baby for at least two years—maybe longer. Corinne cleared her throat and tried to give her youngest sister a warning look. Landyn could be so clueless sometimes. She and Chase both worked freelance and made their own hours. Corinne envied them a little. Though not the part where they were up at three in the morning feeding twins. But the Spencers had lived and worked in New York as newlyweds, and now they’d fixed up a cute little loft apartment where Chase had an art studio. Landyn had taken on several marketing projects before the babies came, but now she was pretty much a stay-at-home mom, too, though Corinne couldn’t see her staying home full-time for long.
“So who has your kids tonight, Corinne?” Danae licked her finger and retrieved the last crumbs from her dessert plate.
“A girl from our church. She’s only thirteen, but I’m telling you, if you don’t get them before they’re old enough to date, you’d never get a sitter.”
“Tell me about it,” Landyn said. “What’s your girl’s name?”
“Huh-uh,” Corinne said, laughing. “Don’t think I’m going to let you steal her when I just got her broken in.”
Landyn affected a pout. “Some sister you are.”
Danae pushed her plate to the center of the table, looking bored with the conversation, but Corinne knew it was more than that. Her poor sister. Danae had confided with her a few weeks ago that she was beginning to worry she might never be able to become pregnant. It hadn’t helped when Landyn popped out twins barely a year after she got married. Unplanned—and at first, unwanted—twins.
Corinne cast about the room, looking for something to change the subject. Jesse’s ringtone pealed before she could think of a new topic. She held up a hand and slid her chair back. “It’s Jesse. I’m going to take this outside. Don’t let them take my coffee.”
She pressed Answer as she made her way to the front entrance. “Hang on, babe.” She didn’t want to lie, but neither did she want to admit to her husband that she’d left the kids with a sitter. Not that he would care about her getting away with her sisters, but he wouldn’t be too happy about her spending the extra money he was making on what he viewed as a luxury. Well, it was cheaper than psychiatric help, which was what she’d need if she didn’t get out without the girls once in a while.
“Hey, you there?” Jesse sounded impatient.
She stepped outside and moved to the side of the door, turning away from the chill breeze that came off the Mississippi just two blocks behind the restaurant. “I’m here. How are you?”
A fishy odor laced with whiffs of diesel fuel wafted up from the river, and a low horn from a barge threatened to give away her location.
But Jesse seemed not to notice. “I’m okay. Where are you?”
“Please don’t tell me your flight got cancelled again.”
“Not cancelled, but delayed.”
“Jesse—”
“Only by an hour. I’ll be home by one a.m. And I’m taking tomorrow off.”
“Well, that’s big of them to let you have a day with your family.” She hadn’t meant it to come out so snarky.
“I’m sorry, babe. There wasn’t anything we could do about it outside of booking a new flight out of our pocket, and that would have defeated the purpose of all these extra hours I’ve been putting in.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I just—I miss you, that’s all.”
“I know. Me too. Are the girls still up?”
So much for dodging that question. “I’m betting they are. Emily from church is babysitting.”
“Oh? Where are you?”
“Having coffee with my sisters. And dessert. We’re at Bella Italia.”
“I thought I heard boats—oh, hey, I’ve got to run.”
She heard a feminine voice in the background, and she could tell Jesse was distracted.
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll see you in a few hours?”
“Yeah. Sure.” And he hung up.
She knew when she’d been upstaged. She hated the way that made her feel. Like a jealous high school girl who wasn’t sure her boyfriend liked her anymore.
She was being irrational. She’d talked to Jesse last night and there hadn’t been anything in his voice that made her suspicious. Still, she had to wonder what he’d been thinking, having that girl—Michaela—call her earlier instead of calling himself.
She went back inside and wove her way through the maze of tables.
“We were beginning to think you weren’t coming back.”
“Jesse’s flight is finally leaving. And hey—listen, guys, I feel bad . . . what I said earlier about Jesse. He’s working his tail off so I can stay home with the kids, and I really am grateful. I feel guilty I said that.”
“Yeah.” Danae nodded. “There’s a lot of that going around.”
“What’s going around?” Landyn looked confused.
Danae wrinkled her nose and gave a contrite smile. “Guilt. I’m sorry I snapped at you.”
Landyn waved her off. “I’m used to it.”
Corinne laughed, but Landyn had a point. Danae had been super sensitive ever since Chase and Landyn’s twins came along. Sometimes it felt like walking on eggshells when they were together.
Danae pushed her chair back and wriggled into her jacket. “I need to get home.”
“Yeah, me too. I feel my babies calling me.” Landyn pressed her forearms over her breasts.
It was a gesture Corinne remembered so well. Even though it’d been almost a year since she’d last nursed Simone, she could still almost feel that unmistakable tingle and the sense of urgency to get back to a hungry nursing baby. Such a precious and mysterious connection between mother and child. She and Jesse had agreed that three were enough, but for a brief moment it made her wonder if she was really ready to be done with having babies.
But twins? The mere thought of all that Landyn and Chase had ahead of them raising two babies at once was enough to convince her. Especially with Danae’s struggle to get pregnant. It would add insult to injury for Danae if anyone else in the family were to get pregnant now—and she sure didn’t want to wait until Simone was in school and then start all over.
No. Though it made her a little sad, she knew she was done. They were done.
Landyn grabbed the check from the tabletop. “I’ve got it.”
“Don’t be silly, Landyn,” Danae said. “You’re the last one who should be picking up the tab.”
Landyn gave her a look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t mean anything by it. But you guys are trying to get new businesses off the ground, and you’ve got the babies.”
“We’re doing fine, thank you.”
“Let me at least leave the tip then,” Danae said, pushing her chair in.
“I’ve got it. Can you two just let me do something nice once in a while? I might be your baby sister, but I’m not a baby anymore,” Landyn huffed.
“Fine.” Danae turned and headed toward the door. She stopped to throw a “thank you” over her shoulder, but it didn’t sound very genuine.
Corrine hung back and waited while Landyn paid at the counter.
“What’s up with her?” Landyn whispered while she waited for the cashier.
“Shh,” Corinne said. “I’ll tell you later.” Through the front window she saw Danae waiting outside, her back to them.
“What’s the deal?”
“I think it’s bothering her that we both have babies.”
“Oh.” Landyn looked genuinely sur
prised. “I knew she and Dallas wanted kids, but I didn’t know it was that big of a deal. Did I say something . . . wrong?”
“No. You just might be aware that she’s super sensitive about that. You missed some of the situation with Danae and Dallas while you were living in New York. She wants to try some expensive fertility treatments, but I don’t think Dallas is too hot on the idea.”
“Wow. Fertility? I’d probably end up with quintuplets if I tried that.”
Corinne winced. “Don’t say that to Danae. Please.”
“I’m not stupid. But I’m not going to pretend my babies don’t exist either.”
“I’m not saying that. Just—never mind.”
Landyn shook her head and opened the door.
Her sister could be a little obtuse sometimes, but then Danae wasn’t exactly being easy to deal with either. As much as Corinne understood her sister’s concern, she wanted to tell her to just enjoy her days of not having toddlers underfoot. And yet, Corinne understood that it had been especially hard for Danae when Landyn—who’d apparently gotten pregnant on her honeymoon—popped out twins like it was the easiest thing in the world.
Fortunately, when they got outside, Danae seemed to have cooled off.
Corinne told her sisters good-bye and drove through Starbucks for a decaf latte on the way home. She was going to pay for this Starbucks habit she’d let herself get into since Jesse started traveling. Not just the fact that four-fifty a pop added up, but five hundred calories a pop was adding up on her hips too.
She took a sip of the sweet, warm liquid. But it didn’t soothe her like it usually did. Between the whole thing with Jesse and now the tension with her sisters, a feeling of melancholy attached itself to her and wouldn’t let go. She couldn’t quit thinking about the way Michaela— Corinne realized she didn’t remember the woman’s last name. But there’d been something awfully . . . possessive in her tone.
Something wasn’t quite right, and Corinne wasn’t sure she was ready to analyze just what it was.
3
Jesse reclined his seat and bent his head to stare out the window of the 747. The lights of Chicago’s skyline receded below, and he caught a glimpse of the moon reflected in Lake Michigan before everything disappeared in a bank of heavy clouds.
He couldn’t wait to be home with Corinne and the girls, yet he hoped they’d let him sleep till noon tomorrow. These all-day-in-the-airport stints were killers.
He felt a light pressure on his arm and turned to see Michaela watching him.
“You look exhausted,” she whispered.
“I’m pretty wiped. We all are.”
“When do you have to travel again? Do you know yet?”
“I’m home two weeks, then out again.”
“Poor baby.” She patted his knee.
He pulled his leg away as if her touch were a flame. She put her hand back in her lap, apparently oblivious to his reaction. He and Michaela had both been on the same travel schedule before, but they’d worked together more closely this time, and he didn’t like the direction her “friendliness” had taken.
He quickly edited his thought. Who was he kidding? Of course he liked it—at least a part of him did. What red-blooded male wouldn’t want to have a young, attractive woman flirting with him, paying him special attention? But it did make him uncomfortable. He felt certain he hadn’t given Michaela any indication that he was receptive to her . . . advances. Quite the opposite.
He closed his eyes and turned his head away from her, pretending to be asleep, hoping he could avoid having to say something to her. He worked to turn off the images that crowded in—images he had no business entertaining—and instead tried to fill his mind with thoughts of Corinne and their daughters.
It was more of a struggle than he wanted to admit, yet he must have drifted off because when he opened his eyes again, it was to feel the plane touching down on the tarmac, and the lights of Lambert-St. Louis Airport flickering above the runway.
As he stretched, unfolded himself from the cramped seat, and gathered his briefcase from the overhead compartment, he did his best to ignore Michaela. But she wasn’t an easy woman to ignore, and they still had a two-hour ride ahead of them, back to Cape Girardeau’s small regional airport where they’d flown out of on Monday. He hated that their schedule, thanks to the flight delays, had worked out this way. Usually he did his best to avoid traveling alone with a female coworker. But when this had happened before, he and Corinne had discussed it and agreed that it would be foolish for him and Michaela to rent separate cars when they were going to the same place.
“I trust you, babe,” Corinne had said. And he knew she meant it. But she might not be so confident if she ever met Michaela. He would do his best to prevent that from ever happening.
While he waited for their bags at the luggage carousel, Michaela went to the Hertz counter.
Their bags still hadn’t showed up when she appeared, flashing the rental car keys. “We’re all set.”
“Okay. I’d offer to go get the car, but I don’t want to leave you to wrestle with both our bags.”
“It’s okay.” She shifted her overstuffed laptop case to the opposite hip and moved closer to him. “I don’t mind waiting with you.”
He ignored that and focused on the slow-moving carousel. Finally their luggage showed up, her bag leaning against his.
“Well! There you go!” she said, grinning.
He tried not to read anything into it, but it didn’t take a genius to catch her innuendo.
In the car, he turned the radio up loud enough to discourage conversation. But every song that came on the pre-set pop station seemed inappropriate at best, downright suggestive at worst.
Thankfully, Michaela was quiet on the drive back to Cape Girardeau, even dozing briefly at one point. But Jesse had to hold back a sigh of relief when they finally reached the company parking lot. “Do you remember where you’re parked?”
“Barely,” she said. “It feels like we’ve been out of town forever.” But she directed him to the spot, and he parked the car and got out to help her with her luggage.
When he straightened from closing the trunk of her car, she reached and wrapped him in a hug. “Thanks, Jess.” She shortened his name in an overly familiar way. “It was a good trip. I’m going to miss spending time with you.”
He gave her an awkward pat on the shoulder and took a wide step backward. Feeling his face heat, he was glad for the dim lights of the parking lot. “Well . . . I guess you have everything. Drive safe.”
“Oh, don’t worry about me. I don’t have far to go.”
He hadn’t intended his comment to convey worry. But he knew protesting would only dig him a deeper hole. He lifted a hand in a half wave and got back into the rental car.
Feeling flustered by more than early morning brain fog, he exited the parking lot. Had he sent the wrong signals somehow where Michaela was concerned? He truly didn’t think so, but Corinne had told him on more than one occasion that he sometimes came off as a flirt when that was never his intention. Certainly not with Michaela.
He punched the accelerator and merged onto the Interstate. Traffic was light at two a.m. and he’d be home within twenty minutes. He’d missed Corinne and the girls, and was eager to see them, but at the same time he felt unsettled.
His time in Chicago had brought unsettling feelings to the surface. A sense of discontentment he hadn’t examined in a while. It wasn’t Michaela, and it wasn’t any “deficiency” in Corinne—at least he didn’t think so. But he’d been wrestling with this feeling more and more.
It had grown stronger since his dad had died three weeks after Christmas. Dad was only sixty-four, the same age his grandfather had been when he passed away. Life was a breath. And then you died. And he was halfway there.
He labored for air. An all-too-familiar feeling of heaviness settled on him. It wasn’t a physical thing. He knew that somehow. But it was there. Shadowing him. Stalking him.
And the
only label he could put on it was . . . trapped.
* * *
“Does your mommy let you do that?” Audrey held the remote high enough that her granddaughter couldn’t reach it.
Sadie propped her hands on her hips and jutted her chin. “She does if I’m at Poppa’s house.”
Grant stifled a laugh.
Audrey shot him a stern look. “Gram and Poppa make the rules at Poppa’s house.” But she had to turn away to hide a smile herself.
At four, Sadie was learning to test the limits of just about any authority. It was a good thing she was so adorable. But Audrey knew Sadie’s belligerence was wearing on Corinne, especially with Jesse gone so much. His absence had no doubt escalated the child’s attitude. But Corinne and Jesse were good parents. Audrey had no doubt they’d get Sadie back on track once things slowed down with his work. She just hoped it did slow down.
Grant kissed Sadie’s forehead. “You run and play with your sisters. Maybe we can watch a movie after naps.”
She stuck out her bottom lip, but didn’t argue and ran from the room, calling for Sari.
Grant shook his head, chuckling. “That little pistol.”
“She needs her daddy’s firm hand.”
“Jesse’s back now, isn’t he?”
“Late last night. Or I should say early this morning. That’s why we have the girls—so Jesse can sleep. And then they can have a date night.”
“Ah. Good call.”
“Yes, but the girls need their dad too.” Audrey frowned. “It’s a shame that a family can scarcely make it on one income these days.”
“It wasn’t exactly a piece of cake when we were their age,” Grant reminded her. “Of course, we didn’t expect to have everything all at once. I’d guess Jesse doesn’t have much choice but to work the hours he does.”
Audrey opened her mouth to defend Corinne, but Grant had a point. Jesse and Corinne lived well. They’d built a new home before Simone was born. Corinne had done a beautiful job decorating and furnishing it, but five bedrooms? It seemed excessive. And yes, a home was a good investment, and Audrey thought her daughter appreciated how hard Jesse worked so they could live as comfortably as they did. She just hoped they weren’t making a trade-off of nice furniture for an absentee daddy.